On Marrying the Wrong Person

I recently read this NYT opinion piece written by Alain de Botton. He writes about how marrying the “wrong person” is inevitable, and goes on to say:

“We mustn’t abandon him or her, only the founding Romantic idea upon which the Western understanding of marriage has been based the last 250 years: that a perfect being exists who can meet all our needs and satisfy our every yearning. Continue reading

This Election is Making me Scared to Move to the South

As America’s been trying to figure out how to make its Big Decision of 2016, hubby and I have been trying to make our own big decision–whether to uproot ourselves from Boston, where we both went to school, to return to the place both our parents call home–Atlanta, Georgia. We’ve been trying to take into account everything from his job to my job to family planning to cost of living to community and church involvement.

These last two points are the ones being assaulted by this election. Continue reading

Psalm 74: Swinging Axes in a Forest of Trees

Ever since Ferguson happened years ago, I’ve posted a few times on this blog and my facebook about Black Lives Matter and racial injustice, but of the posts I’ve left up, there are a half dozen I’ve deleted.

Mostly, this is because I feel cynical about whether posting on facebook or social media does any good, because when I read the comments that some of my white and Asian-American friends post about these issues, it’s clear that they’re cuccooned within an entirely different internet of their own choosing that insulates them from these issues anyway. I feel in these moments that speaking out about racism is like preaching to the Woke choir, while those who really need to hear it just change the channel. Continue reading

The most terrifying part of Gone Girl is your (plural) self.

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Even as someone who tends to skip to the last page, I have to precede with a big fat spoiler warning and tell you that you will ruin a huge element of the movie for yourself if you read this without watching it.

That said.

Last night I saw Gone Girl with my fierce, flawless, fast-talking girlfriends.

2/6 of us had read the book before, and knew what was coming the entire time. 6/6 of us left the movie shaken.

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Skipping Lecture, Skipping Church

I stopped going to class during the first week of class.

I was surprised at the extent to which this fazed some of my friends and classmates. I’m still kind of surprised, in retrospect, because now over 75% of my class no longer goes to lecture on any sort of regular basis, and the professors have a hard time even enforcing “required” sessions because everyone has realized how much more time-efficient it is to study on your own, especially if using active recall software like Anki or Firecracker.

I gravitated toward other hardcore skippers, and we worked well in parallel and became fast friends. It got to the point where I found myself annoyed whenever I had to go to a lecture or listen to it at “1x,” without the 1.5x, 2x, or 2.5x speed-up option we had for video-captured lectures. Why am I wasting my time, I’d think. This is unbelievably inefficient.

It was only a matter of time before the distaste for lecture-style learning extended to church as well.

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Poverty as Slavery(?), Development as Freedom

This article published in the Atlantic today resonated with what I was (and didn’t finish) reading this summer.

“When we [make financial life easier for the poor], we liberate some bandwidth,” Shafir says. Policymakers tend to evaluate the success of financial programs aimed at the poor by measuring how they do financially. “The interesting thing about this perspective is that it says if I make your financial life easier, if I give you more bandwidth, what I really ought to look at is how you’re doing in your life. You might be doing better parenting. You might be adhering to your medication better.”

…and, contradicted with what I experienced from talking to people in Mexico.

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